The Birds.

I should be writing a script right now, or working on my  research paper, or studying for my exam. 

     Welcome to finals week everyone! Now, as usual, I am saving everything until last minute.  Some would call me a procrastinator. I call it "Proving well under pressure." Three hours ago my intentions were to knock out a 6 page research paper. Things changed when the birds came. I understand birds singing their little tune in the wee hours of the morning. Like 6 am or whatever. Well, it's about 10:00 pm and I hear birds freaking out outside my window. My first thought was that it was a prank, so I brushed it off like it was nothing. I am back in my room on my mac about to write and then *chirp! This happened several times within a one hour time span. The volume at which these birds where projecting their chirps was mind blowing. I thought to myself  "The crap are they even doing out there!?" I had some theories.

• A) Expressing their love.
• B) Planning an attack on the students of my university.
• C) Procrastinating on their schoolwork, like me, so sleeping at night has no longer become a thing. 
• D) First hardcore metal bird band.

     I did some research and found that their little bird chirps are being drowned out by the sounds of the cities, so they are forced to chirp their hearts out at night. Excuse me tweeters, fly out of the city and into the forest, where there are trees and foliage and bugs. What are they even doing in the city? Sitting on peoples arms thinking they are tree branches? When my voice gets talked over or drowned out by other noises, I scream right then and there. I don't hold it all in until 1 am and stand outside and scream all the words no one heard me say earlier in the day. I would get put in an institution for that. Or get eggs thrown at me. I would never go as far as to harm the birds. Instead I will address the matter maturely. Below is a letter to the birds.

Dear Birds,

I do hope you are having a lovely night. A few things I would like to adress. First: if the noise of the city is overpowering your tweets, move somewhere else. You have wings for a reason. Second: I understand the lack of hardcore metal bird bands, but I advise you to use your wings to fly to a more secluded place where you can screech your brains out without driving us poor, stressed out humans crazy. It would bring me and my college mates great joy to see you feathery birds using your God given gift of wings to fly away and go else where. You are not crickets, you do not make noise at night. Stop trying to be what you are not, You are morning birds, not night owls. You are fooling no one. Now you have ten minutes to use your wings or can it. I will make a crossbow. I will use it if need be. Thank you.

Chirp,
Morgan