A Story.

Well it's 12:30am at the moment which is the opportune time to tell you a story.

Like all good stories I will begin with "Once upon a time"
A beautiful princess fell in love with a handsome prince and had a fairytale wedding with doves, a dress with the circumference of the moon itself and a twelve tier cake. The overly dramatic celebration turned into a romanic honeymoon on some private island they owned.  They eventually gave the birth of a beautiful son who one day rebelled against his parents and married a peasant woman who owned only one outfit, which consisted of different shades of brown and was rarely ever washed. Of course they were both banished to the black forest where he and his peasant wife found a small house that most likely belonged to someone, but with no common sense to be found in their brains they went ahead and proceeded to intrude on private property. Lucky for them it was a sweet old bakers house that smelled like apples. Unfortunately he baked humans. Lucky for the baker they were humans. While tied up in a cage awaiting there boiling, deep fried death the rebellious son remembered he had an emergency escape kit in his pocket. Lucky for them they escaped. Lucky for the baker not long after the couple escaped some dumb kids decided to explore his kitchen. In the midst of the couples escape they ran into a bear who taught himself interpretive dance. Common knowledge would say to take lessons from the bear but they don't have common knowledge so they killed it and ate interpretive dance bear burgers for dinner. Their journey of banishment in the forest continued for years until they found a conk shell resting on an old statue of a kitten. His peasant wife picked it up and the shell spoke "Hello, this is the sea calling." Common knowledge would be to take a message, but instead the peasant wife politely asked to be taken off the calling list. If the peasant wife had taken a message, the shell would of ask if her and her rebellious husband if they would like to be flown out to the city and become actors in a series of annoying cruise ship commercials. Unfortunately they were taken off the call list and never heard of or seen again. The shell went on to star in several commercials and now own all the oceans.

The End